I should have known...that a bright blue gardenia would arrive. One of John's dearest friends and fans brought over a perfect blue gardenia.....a surprise for John and of course he was touched. It now sits on our fireplace and its unique look stands out amongst all of the bouquets. I had told John of the blog posting...and he smiled when that special gardenia arrived within 24 hours of the post.
Acts such as those are frequent and really remind us of how blessed we are to have such friends and colleagues. John sure knows some unique and special folks. Today, John's daughter read the blog postings to him as he rested and we read a number of emails to John. He's fully alert in between his naps and always feels the warmth of all those messages, cards and emails. I think they help him to refuel, to reminisce and to remind him of how many hearts he has touched. I'm convinced that these kinds of actions and thoughts help him to feel comforted, and to prepare for what is ahead and serve to give him a real sense of peace in the notion that he has fulfilled so many of his goals.
Although it is difficult to see John's physical self fade, his spiritual and youthful selves are still very strong. This allows us to enjoy discussions- some which are so meaningful and important to have- about his remaining life and future, and some concerning his memories of his very full life and adventures.
Bodily energy can decline, but it takes so much more to puncture such a vibrant personality as his, and as you know he is not a tall man, but a giant in so many ways.
I often tell the assistants and nurses that it would have been fabulous for them to have seen John's gift and talents in performing his renditions and to have seen him in full color, telling a story, etc. Yet, they remind me daily how often they have observed directly his capacity for story telling, is authentic presence with everyone around him and his love of humor and his wit. Those qualities outshine everything else right now. Even though episodes of story telling or introductions to music are interspersed with periods of needed rest it is lovely to be able to still converse, talk about the news of the day, music or other things. And, as always he loves to hear about the doings of others, particularly his family- children and grandchildren who visit often.
John receives all of your messages. Again, thanks so much for all of your thoughtful letters, phone calls, emails and posts. They do not go unnoticed and I'm sure they contribute to the vibrations right now that fill our home- those of a healing nature.
I hope in some sense that they help you also to heal in the anticipation of this most significant loss.